That Crazy Spanish
My spanish teacher is a guy whose jokes always fall on the side of science fiction, literal translations or witty puns. He corrects your sentence for sentiment instead of for grammar, needing any kind of joke or funny answer explained, then he repeats the sentence to himself once or twice til he gets the joke, then corrects it again for grammar. He is really well read, very smart, with knowledge about cultures, geography, music, movies etc. He wears kind of girly keds-like sneakers, has, like, twice as many teeth as a person should, and chews crackers in tiny bites. When I am sitting in the seat next to him I finish the class with a sore back, because subconsciously I lean away throughout the 3 hour class for fear of being hit by a flying cracker bit, sent projecting out when he finally gets the joke.
Well. Often in this class we get way off topic, but it always results in an interesting conversation, or a good new way to swear at someone, or, like today, a way to get someone's attention. Ok. So I already know that Estoy Caliente = I Am Horny. I learned that lesson the hard way in a very crowded bar in Ecuador when responding to someone's invitation to dance. My answer had the very undesired effect of causing at least 10 more people to approach, when all I wanted was to cool off. But one of my classmates was asking about this phrase, and so we got into the "estoy caliente" conversation and about how and when to use it. Then came the questions from my classmates "Well can you say this..." "Can you say it like that..." What about "Me caliente?" "My doy caliente?" And then I chime in to my teacher, to clarify and give an example I am sure will work, "Tu me calientas" (you make me horny) to which the aforementioned teacher says, without missing a beat, "Gracias!" And my classmates burst out laughing, and I do too, turning three shades of red. At this point class ends, and teacher asks who is coming back next week. And we all reply "Todos!" And Justin adds "Porque nos calientes!" And teacher replies, in english, "Oh, well then, I will try to dress more, uh apropriately for you all next week! Bye bye!"
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